Movie Madness

My movie reviews and rants at your fingertips.

Ninja Assassin

Ninja Assassin is not a movie that I would run out to see. I enjoy the occasional Jackie Chan or Jet Li movie, but sadly, this is nothing close to that. I went in with an optimistic attitude, but quickly lost all patience. Had I not gone with my father, I would have walked out. Rarely do I do that.

The movie follows a man who used to be in a secret ninja cult that are hired for assassinations all over the world. A woman at Europol (European Police, like Interpol is International Police) has found evidence that the cult exists, so they set out to kill her. But our main character is actually attempting to bring down the cult as well, so protects her/helps her on her mission to get the word out about these men.

The action seems well-intentioned but phony all over. The requisite blood and gore is all CGI (something I can’t stand) and though the battle scenes are stylishly filmed, the stunts and acrobatics all feel like wire stunts. Not like Chan and Li, who used little or no safety harnesses at all. I can only hope that other action films don’t follow this example. Even Michael Bay films have something that resonates. If you thought the trailer looked awesome, go see Ninja Assassin. If you have taste and prefer something that doesn’t insult its audience, avoid this like STDs. 0 out of 5 stars (Why can’t Netflix let me give this movie a 0?! Why is 1 the lowest?)

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